The moment was captured on camera
Arcata, California residents were shocked this morning when an unidentified skydiver collided with an emergency medical helicopter over a public beach. Helicopter blades shredded the man into thousands of pieces upon impact, presumably killing him. Beachgoers reported that it looked like it was raining ground beef and tomato sauce, with many deciding to call it a day and head home after that. "I just wasn't really in the mood to swim anymore" -Lee Woodson, 36 Still, many were not shocked by the event. Apparently, malpractice by medical helicopters is common in the region. "This kind of thing happens all the time in California since Newsom took over. This is what socialized Healthcare will do to a society. Last week I saw a lady on welfare shoot up a Target and no one even batted an eye. Disgusting" -Anonymous The helicopter pilot was unavailable for comment, causing some to raise questions of foul play. It is unclear what exactly the motive was. Either way, citizens have been left traumatized as bits of skydiver are still being found washing up on shore, and slowly coming out in the laundry. "Look, I'm just saying, who was flying the helicopter? Was it maybe... a woman???" - Some guy we made up for sensationalism.
Bernadette Brewster, Kalkaska Chronicle
