Lincoln Chafee protesting not being allowed to wear his Timbs in Congress: "Fuck around and find out, Nancy"
1) Gary Peters, member of the Muskegon crips in his youth, killed 7 men in his street career, before moving to a life of politics. 2) Angus King, known as the "lobster mobster" of Maine. King remained independent in politics, deeply familiar with the pain and destruction that gang rivalries can bring. 3) Lincoln Chafee. Unlike King, Chafee has not left his criminal ways behind. Known as an "absolute ruthless motherfucker" in the streets, and in the house, leaks confirmed that Chafee threatened, if unelected, to "go buck fucking wild on the state of Rhode Island, droppin bodies and fuckin bitches up, fuck the opps, fuck what ya heard, fuck the mothafuckin police, fuck Donald Trump, fuck the public, fuck all yo bitch asses, imma swipe the gat and - unintelligible mouth noises meant to imitate gunshots - get to sprayin, that's on GOD, nahmsayin? It's Lincoln Chafee in this bitch, Rhode Island elect me or fucking die". Chafee was elected soon after, not out of hope, but out of fear 4) Ron Wyden, from Oregon. Wyden is heralded among white supremacist groups as the leading reason that no people of color want to move to Oregon. Wyden may be said to have "farm cred" in this case. 5) Martin O'Malley. Cousin of UFC fighter Sean O'Malley, Martin was said to have been turned down by the fight promotion for being "too violent for television". 38 counts of homicide and 19 DUIs, he may not have his license to drive, but he has his license to kill. 6) Faggot McYouBitch Paying attention? Caught you slipping, didn't I? That'd get you killed in the streets, probably by one of these congressmen. 7) Elizabeth Warren Coming straight off the reservation now known as Harvard University, Warren grew up around a slew of alcoholic gamblers, and would find her experiences to inform her policymaking as a senator. Many progressives like to claim to be allies to BIPOC, but Warren actually is one, and personally flew to California during the LA riots to shoot at Korean store owners. 8) Bernie Sanders Just kidding, Sanders is a nerd that doesn't belong on this list. He'd probably try to teach everyone about cooperation or something instead of pulling up with the strap. Sanders can't even commit to a political party, much less to assault and battery, and you need loyalty in the streets, something Sanders privileged upbringing can't understand. 9) Beto O'Rourke Known traqueto in the Sinaloa Cartel, it's no coincidence Beto is the only member of congress perfectly fluent in Mexican Spanish. Watch out before he runs up on you with the filero, wey.
Bernice Brewer, Kalkaska Chronicle
