The Long John Silver's establishment where the tire is located.
Fast food seafood chain Long John Silver's has been awarded a Michelin Tire as of last Friday. One LJS chapter out of Hartford Connecticut specifically holds the honor, after 24 year old employee Braden Norwick rolled an All-Terrain Jeep Wrangler tire into the restaurant and hung it up on the wall. While the tire has fooled many LJS customers, it should be made clear to our readers that this tire has nothing to do with the Michelin Star, awarded to restaurants for culinary excellence. No, this is just a tire made of rubber taken from a local garage, but for Long John Silver's, that might be enough to change the game. "Yeah I just figured anyone who eats at Long John Silver's probably doesn't have a functioning brain or sense of taste, so they wouldn't be able to tell." -Braden Norwick, genius. Braden may be correct, as misinformed Connecticut residents lined up to look at the tire and order some sort of grey brown breaded stuff after a long day of work at the office. "This finally gives me something to be proud of Connecticut for. I always told them we were going to be big one day. Connecticut is where it's at." -Hartford local John Bethlehem, 48, talking to the soap dispenser in the bathroom. LJS higher-ups expressed concerns about placing a mass of synthetic rubber just above the cooking area. However, customers assured leadership that even if any bits of the object rubbed off into their meal, they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a 20 year old tire covered in mildew and the Grilled Shrimp Bowl™ anyways. "We're a simple people, we'll kind of just eat anything if we see it in an ad."
Bernice Brewster, Kalkaska Chronicle
