Joe Biden and Narendra Modi, talking about poop
US president Biden arrived in Delhi early yesterday morning on the first state visit of a US president to India since Obama visited in 2011. Not long after Airforce 1 touched down on Indian soil, a ceremonial turd from the president touched down on an otherwise busy street in the city's Paschim Vihar district. After a round of applause from the Indian government delegation, including the likes of Home Minister Amit Shah, Minister of Health and Family Welfare Mansukh Mandaviya, and Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi himself, President Biden gave a short speech dedicating his gift to the people of India, which included a jab at his political opponents back home in America. "I have a feeling Breitbart's gonna report that I missed my pants this time" the president laughed. Public defecation remains a controversial pillar of Indian culture, with some Indians arguing that it projects a backwards image of the country to the world. Others, however, argue that shitting on the street is an unmistakable hallmark of the Indian identity, often citing the strong association of the practice with famous Indian sites, including the country's countless beaches, the river Ganges, and Delhi's own Rajpath street. "Just find a fucking bathroom, oh my god," says Delhi resident Rishi Kalita, "I stepped in shit last week and it was still fresh. I don't give a fuck if it came from the American president himself, that's disgusting no matter what, goddamn. I don't shit under your feet, do I? Some of y'all disgust me for real." President Biden is scheduled to stay in India until Sunday, when he will continue his diplomatic tour of Asia with a visit to Malaysia, where he will mistakenly try to eat a dog.
Gabriel Valentino, Kalkaska Chronicle
