Senator Feinstein on Friday
US Senator Diane Feinstein spontaneously combusted on Saturday in what experts are calling "the largest explosion of a human being since Osama Bin Laden". A longtime fixture of California politics, Feinstein was thought to be dormant, with the risk of an explosion being low. However, there were some warning signs. Early in May of 2020, Feinstein was seen shaking profusely in what was framed as an epileptic fit, but this is now understood to have been the early tremors of a building seismic explosion. Even as far back as 1998, some feared that the Senator was long due for a combustion event. "And what are we supposed to do if she fucking explodes? It could happen any day now. I have a family!" -Trent Palomar, 48, father. It appears the severity of the Senator's imminent explosion was not understood until it was too late. While there have been concerns about Senators exploding, this is the first documented case in the US. (JFK doesn't count that happened while he was President). It is unclear what will happen in the wake of the Senator's sudden explosion, but Feinstein's estate has declared it will not be giving up her Senate seat, leading to possible political fallout in the days to come. To read more about that developing story, go to kalkaskachronicle.com/art/61 For the Kalkaska Chronicle,
Bernice Brewster, Kalkaska Chronicle
