Reggie Richards, abandoned and helpless
Teaneck, New Jersey. A devastating sight today as 6 month old Reggie, a pit bull of the Richards family, has been left abandoned inside his family’s home today, without warning, for at least 5 minutes now. Reggie first noticed something was wrong when, after barking to each other quietly, his entire family disappeared out the front door, and upon closing, simply ceased to exist. With no indication that they would ever return, plans had to be made to summon the Richards family home. The intelligent creature that he is, Reggie attempted to strategically shit and piss everywhere in the house, knowing that if his family did somehow still exist, they would be able to smell such an odor up to 25 miles away, as all creatures can, and would lovingly reward him for calling them home in such a time of crisis. But to no avail. After what felt like 30 seconds to 17 years, Reggie has decided to press his shit covered ass longingly against the front door, pleading with it to give him his family back. But there is no response. Time is completely imperceivable now, and although the house is safely marked as Reggie’s territory, it may be his alone, as he waits in a void of solitude for all eternity, pondering euthanasia. This is truly a modern tragedy. Never take your family for granted.
Eduardo Lopez, Kalkaska Chronicle
