Hi! That's me!
Hewo evweewon, My name is Jaxton Bouwers, I am a widdle cute baby boy who lives in my mommy's tummy. Mommy and Daddy wuv me vewy much, and I wuv dem wiff allllllll my heart. And yes, I do have a heart. It's beating wiff the love of Jesus, because I am a human too. 1 week ago, when my married parents spent the night togever afta da high school pwom, I was conseeved. Razzer dan go do heroin at da club in da inner city, drinking hennessy and engaging in decadent behavyur, my Mommy and Daddy decided to cewebrate God's will by cweating life. 12 seconds of pleasureless procreation later, I was maded. I am happy here in my mommy's tummy, but I hear dere are scary fings happewing in da outsighed wurld. My Daddy whispers to me from da outside, and I know he will protect me from dem. Democrat run cities wif teenage gangs, Iswamic terrorism, and Awexandwia Ocahsio Cowtez. But the scawiest fing of all?? I hear dere are people who want to kill me. Dey wan me to die from a thing they caww "abortion". Dis is wurse dan tewowwism, and gangs, but maybe not Awexandwia. It is hawd to call. Still, I love my Mommy and Jesus, I fink I deserve to be born, no matta what. Just becwause Daddy loves Mommy doesn't mean he coodn't hav raypt her. If Daddy was in a democwat gang and bwutally waped Mommy in a alleyway in urban detwoit, I woulda had noffing to do wif dat. I wood stiww be da same ol' me. Da same baby dat loves Jesus, and my Mommy, and my Daddy. Why would dey kill me for dat? Deez are too big thoughts for my widdle baby bwain. I fink de adults should handwe dis, and make abortion fuwwy iwwegal, punishabow by deaf. Stop huwting us babies, and do da rite fing. I jus wan to gestate in peace. Pwease spread my message to all da good christians in da West. We need you now moah dan evah. Save a baby, stop evewy abortion. Fank you. Sincerely,
A Baby, Kalkaska Chronicle
