Some guy with no accomplishments at all, I think this is the janitor at the UFC PI
With another UFC right around the corner, Jon Anik and crew are set to read off some insanely personal factoids about the fighters. The famous custody battle line will be remembered by many. But with so many oddities, you're certain not to have heard them all. This week, we go over some of the best UFC stats you missed after muting the commentary! 1. 6th highest calf kick checks at the 02 arena in modern featherweight history by a fighter from a former soviet country. (Zabit Magomedsharipov) 2. 3rd highest domestic abuse charges in heavyweight and light heavyweight history. (Thiago Silva, surprisingly not number 1) 3. First openly gay fighter, also first to be released from UFC via fan requests. (name redacted for safety) 4. 2nd strongest top game from mount. That top game, oh yeah. (Your mother) 5. First fighter to vote Democrat, removed even faster than the gay fighter. (name redacted for safety) 6. Most time spent in the second round in a fight. (563 way tie for 5 minutes) 7. Biggest cock. (Brandon Moreno) 8. God's favorite fighter. (Sean Strickland, for doing zero damage and turning the other cheek to Alex Pereira) 9. God of the Old Testament's favorite fighter. (Petr Yan) God himself hopped on the commentary during some of Yan's early fights, with noted quotes to "SELL HIS FAMILY INTO SLAVERY," and "RENDER UNTO PETR WHAT IS PETR'S!!", "MURDER!! MURDER!! MURDER!!!" God went unnoticed as this was relatively tame commentary for Yan fans. 10. Most naval victories and fleets sunk during the Napoleonic Wars. (Horatio Nelson) During a brief schizoid episode at UFC 258 where his mic was left on, Jon Anik seemed to have astrally projected the Battle of Trafalgar into the octagon, and began reciting 1st Viscount Nelson's military history, calling him the GOAT multiple times, and sobbing the phrase "England expects that every man will do his duty", when it appeared that Nelson was fatally wounded and could not continue. Anik came to after being slipped his medication, but has never been the same since.
Colin Gutierrez, Kalkaska Chronicle
