The fart
During rain today there big fart in sky. Thak see explosion from fart. Hit cow. Cow die. Everyone scared. This mean God angry. Unk-dok think it because Thak kiss cow in butt with penis. Thak deny. But we know what truth is. Thak gay. God angry because Thak gay and make bung-bung in anus with cow. God kill cow by fart loud in sky to show power because he is greatest. Praise God. Thak running now. We kill Thak for be gay and not [unintelligible] with [untranslatable] for 2 week now. Editor's note: This text is from a runestone pulled from Kalkaska records, documenting early humans’ understanding of lightning. It is believed this particular runestone is dated to about 1950 AD, written about then Kalkaska chief of Police, Thaddeus “Thak” Simmons.
Thok Ugabooga, Kalkaska Chronicle
