Tony Ferguson holding back tears, and his severed cock
Tony Ferguson is well known for his unorthodox training style, and David Goggins has a history of weight problems and body dysphoria. Since the two began training together, fans were worried what it could mean for Ferguson. Today, it seems their fears were correct. Ferguson stepped on the scale with a weight of 156 lbs. While this would only be an issue in a title fight, where .5 lbs over is the limit, Tony Ferguson stated "I treat every fight like it's for the title", and walked offstage, angered at the weight miss. Ferguson was met by Goggins, who whispered through gritted teeth in Tony's ear, "you know what you have to do, Tony. Just like we trained." Ferguson squinted at Goggins, who nodded solemnly. "who's gonna carry the boats..." David whispered. And with that, Ferguson dropped into an imanari roll to enter his changing room. What followed next was the sound of snipping, and around 5 minutes of straight screaming, interrupted only with Ferguson pausing to yell at concerned UFC employees to "get the fuck away." "Back up, let Tony be a warrior. " - David Goggins, swiping medical professionals away from the changing room door. No one fought the order. Who could defy David Goggins? The man was a savage. Finally, Ferguson opened the door to his changing room, an audience of wide eyed employees horrified as blood dripped down his legs. "That's fucking right, you did that shit like a man, Tony." Asserted Goggins, slow clapping by himself. Ferguson hobbled back to the weigh-in room. Sean Shelby looked surprised. "Why is Ferguson back again? He already made weight OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS IN HIS HAND??" Cock held high, Ferguson stood atop the scale, his entire body shaking, struggling to remain upright from blood loss. Ferguson screamed at the top of his lungs, not in pain, but in victory. The numbers rose. 135, 145, 155... then finally... 170 lbs. Looks like he forgot to cut off his massive balls. Let's fucking go, Tony. The only real dickless loser is you, Paddy. Prepare to get destroyed by- oh, Tony fell off the stage. He's dead. Fuck, he always does this. "Tony this is the one circumstance where I think it's better if you don't stay hard."
Dane Hardy, Kalkaska Chronicle
