Look how cool I look walking through time to say slurs.
Hello citizens of Earth, 2023. My name is Jaxsler Dunn-Hastings-Rodriguez, and I come from the distant future. My purpose here today is very important, as many things are different in the future, and I need to explain some of them. Israel and Palestine have ceased fighting, humans have established colonies on every planet in the solar system, and SNL is funny again. But most importantly, saying the N Word is totally cool now. White civil rights leaders like Steven Crowder, Charlie Kirk, and Candace Owns fought long and hard. Eventually, we overcame, and now, saying the N Word is cool. But you know what's cooler than saying it in my time? Having said it back when it wasn't okay. I know that in your time, people are canceled for old tweets using slurs, but in my time, it's the other way around. If someone were to find my Tweet from 2023 where I used that word, I would be the coolest guy in my colony. Whether I used it as a joke, a term of endearment, or as hate speech, I'd still get laid. (In the future, context doesn't matter, you'll be familiar with that one). I'm going to go make a Twitter account now and spread the good word. If you want to be famous in the future, you might want to join me. It will be a bit of a wait, but this is your one shot. If you tweet the N Word during this time in history, you'll go down as one of the coolest motherfuckers that ever lived. Even cooler than Kevin Merlau (who also totally said the N Word a lot). You could just say it out loud a bunch like Kevin, but the point is to make a permanent record so no one can deny you said it in the future. But you've gotta do it soon, before Elon Musk is assassinated and Twitter becomes permanently archived. Trust me, it's now or never. Or should I say, now or ni- Editor's note: by attempting to say the N Word in our timeline, Jaxsler made it not cool again, and ripped a hole in the space time continuum, destroying himself. Our hearts go out to his family, who haven't been born yet. Jaxsler also referenced Kevin Merlau, a recently deceased individual from Kalkaska. Jaxsler's claims about Kevin are unsubstantiated, he was a good, albeit troubled man. Read more about Kevin's story here: https://kalkaskachronicle.com/art/39
Jaxsler, Kalkaska Chronicle
